Stoner Horrors

Too Shakey for a Real Blog

Bad girls behind bars

Sometimes, bad is good.

Tonight's the Fright Night of the Serious Kind

This will be the real deal in horror. We're talking real screams.
We're talking scarey boo hoo stuff. It's going to be a long show so that you can go trick or treatin' and still have time for us to flip your mind right out of your spine. Halloween is our night.

We Returned!

Can't take the heat

I offer my apologies to all the people and clubs who had contacted us about screening our films with them. I haven't gotten around to see you because this heat is too much for me. I travel by bus or foot and  have not been going out at all. We'll get back to you all as soon as we can. Thanks.
-Doctor Schlock

Like a celluloid cocoon in the bowels of D.C.

Ahh! The peaceful life of uncertainties. The WPFS staff and I are basking in the warm glow of celluloid hiatus. The loud noises that we hear above us do not frighten us. We are safe and snug in our super secret psychotronic bungalow hidden below the streets of D.C. We plan on resurfacing soon to help feed this area's hunger for the most curious things watchable to man. You know what we say...."There's no such thing as a bad film....as long as it's watchable." So keep a light out for us. We need a dark place to show you things.
-Doctor Schlock

Our last show at The Warehouse.....for now.

Hey Kids! Come on down and watch one of our favorite comedies with us for lots of laughs. Plus, this will be our last screening at The Warehouse, our lease has run out. Sigh. Bring your fanny or granny down tonight for some good fun and good-byes. We'll keep you posted on where we will turn up next.
It's been fun while it lasted. If you know of anywhere where we can screen, drop us a line. Meanwhile, the search goes on for a new screening room.

Mmmmmmm Organic Yogurt

Local Great Dick Dyzel will be in the house tonight

Come out tonight for our last 3 shows at the Warehouse.

A cop walks into a bar......

I'm being real sexist here by saying that Linda Blair is totally hot in the poolside scene.
I'm being real serious here by thanking Ms. Blair for her saving the lives of all those dogs in her California shelter.
I'm being really silly by saying that Night Patrol is a great film.
I'm being real sincere by splocking this gem of film and telling you folks to have a great time with it.

Even Cutey Pies Go to Prison

Pia Zadora is one of Psychotronic's best actresses.  When I was a kid I had a crush on her when she was in 'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians'. She's always cute and bubbly, even in prison. Telly Savalas was always a bad-ass. He was never cute and bubbly. So in this film, they are best suited together. Ying and Yang.

The First rule of surviving a zombie attack is to run

When you see a zombie, it's best to run and hide. Which brings us to tonight's door prizes. One lucky winner will get a packet of fake candy blood. Another lucky winner will get a fleshy meat item.

Beatnicks and Kool Kats

Here's proof that the WPFS doesn't only screen bad movies. The Subterraneans falls under our rare film helm. It also features a rare appearance by jazz great, Gerry Mulligan. So there.

Going back to the 80's

When I first went to see Trancers, I thought it was going to be about exploding brains. Boy, was I wrong. It turned out to be a time traveling film with a kick-ass lawman hunting down bio baddies. There was always something about the 80's that attracted time travelers. Could it be because of the wild fashions back then so that when someone came back from the future, they wouldn't look out of place? Trancers almost answers that question.

Super Ladies Day

This one is for the ladies. R.I.P.
Poly Styrene
Phoebe Snow

Well Hello Creepy Dolly

Don't ever steal from a VOODOO Man.

A mad dash to lose one's virginity

There was a pre-teen comedy called 'Lil Darlings'. It starred Tatum O'Neal and Kristy McNichol. It was about a contest between them of who'd lose their virginity first. Beyond the Door 3 has a similar situation. Some teens crash the party of some Satan worshipers and find out that their virginity is the missing ingredient in their Master Plan. It becomes a race of who will catch the virgin first.

No screenings tonight

Today's Ninja's Join the Rat Race

The major plot of  " Female Neo Ninjas" is simple. Does the world need ninjas anymore? Yeah, we do. Especially when there's world wide chaos afoot. Possibly from outer space even.

Opera and cross-dressing go hand in hand

Mascara puts 2  great taste treats in 1: Cross-dressing men and underground Cabarets.
That's just what our main character seems to think. Is the mainstream world ready for this? Maybe?  This ain't no Disco! This ain't West Virginia! This is a police officer who wants some fooling around....perhaps with his sister.

Light Aussie Comedy

Olivia Newton John stars in this very light sci-fi comedy about outer space aliens judging the existence of mankind solely by her musical performances.

Dead cat revives dead cop

A dead cop is revived from the dead with the help of a cat struck by lightening. Hilarity ensues. It isn't over for the newly revived cop. Every time he dies or over exerts himself, he can only be revived with electricity. With that out of the way, he becomes a mindless super cop from HELL. One of our favorite Hong Kong flicks.

Oh you rascal you, Rasputin.

Christopher Lee gives an over-the-top performance as that party dude Rasputin-the Mad Monk. Everybody keeps telling us that it is not historically accurate but then how many other films of this type are?  There ain't no logic to party logic cause the main tune is to party so party on, Rasputin.

At the end of my ropes

Hey! The movie is called 'Death Game'. It's a morality flick about how one should conduct themselves when the wife and kids are away. Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes kittens turn into full grown cats who are tired of playing and want to get serious. The theme song in this film will stay with you for hours.



 

A circus of bad taste

'

'Blood Sucking Freaks' is a  jagged road to depravity. A film that stains the brain. You keep saying to yourself, "Huh!?" No matter how bad it gets, you still watch because it's a fantastic mess of misogyny. Women kept in cages become cannibalistic. A woman's fair bottom is used for a dart board. Sounds naughty doesn't it? It is, but at the same time it's played all tongue and cheek. How could this happen? Well, it seems that there is a very strange show in town and it is run by 2 very sadistic men. Beware of their strange invitations or else you become part of the show. As a matter of fact, anyone who watches....becomes part of the show...and you know what that means?

Sweet Death

 Whenever we screen a movie with major stars some one comes along and says: "I thought you guys only show  bad movies?" My usual response is "We show movies of peculiar interest."

Grace Quigley  falls into that category. It features Katherine Hepburn in one of her final roles. It's a story about a proud woman who doesn't want to die old and feeble. She wants to die with both guns blasting away, so she blackmails a hit-man into snuffing her out. She's very thoughtful because she adds her friends to the list of death. Like the film 'Harold and Maude', 
it handles the subject of aging and dying with comedy and warmth.

Take your bleeding hands off of me you damn bloody apes!

NO SHow Tonight

Here's a reminder that there will be no screening tonight. The Passenger and The Warehouse will be closed.

Our January schedule

Happy New Year!

The Passenger and The Warehouse will be closed on the 4th so they will be no screening from us.

Jan 11 Night of the Bloody Apes (1969) dir. Rene Cordona Jr.
This is basically the directors remake of his earlier film 'Doctor of Doom' so he ups this one up with more female flesh and stock footage of an actual open heart surgery. The plot is about a babelicious female wrestler who is bummed out about her career in wrestling. A mad doctor wants to create a super wrestler so he attempts an ape to human heart transplant. Like with any mad doctor situations something goes wrong and the next thing you know..there's an ape-like creature gouging out eyeballs in the hood.

Jan.18 Grace Quigley (1984) dir. Anthony Harvey
Katherine Hepburn and Nick Nolte star in this dark comedy about euthanasia.."Say What!" Euthanasia! OMG!...OH it's a comedy. Carry on."
Katherine realizes that she doesn't want to end up old and fuzzled so she blackmails Nick Nolte into killing not just her, but her friends. Isn't that sweet. Now they can go out in blaze and glory.

Jan. 25 Blood Sucking Freaks (1976) dir. Joel M Reed
I remember seeing this at the Town Theater which is now the Woman's Museum. Two wino's were so intrigued by it that they didn't want go to the men's  room. Anyways, what intrigued them was this dark film of misogynist depravity. A poor man's Grand Guignol played out by 2 men who kidnap woman and turn them into savages. It's a comedy.
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Thanks
Carl