Tuesday, May 25, 2010

If you don't scream, they won't get you. They're the Blind Dead.

Hey folks, it creepy spooky fun-time. Get ready to be super scared. Don't drink too much water 'cause you might just piss your pants. Boo! Ha, did I scare you. Good. Tonight, we watch 'The Return of the Blind Dead'. Sounds spooky, no. It's the sequel to 'Tombs of the Blind Dead' a great Spanish horror film from the 70's. Revenge is the motive for these dead folk. They were once Templar's who were doing some pretty nasty sick things. The townsfolk caught wind of it, captured them, and blinded them. Now they are back for BLOOD and REVENGE. With these stiffs being blind and all, you've got to be pretty stupid to get caught by them or you're in a horror movie. Shut-up and run is the way to survive. In the first movie, the dead kind of get away and it was open ended. Now we see that they are after some towns people who just won't keep quiet. Some folks never listen.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The most fun you're ever going to have with a movie-The American Astronaut

When was the last time you were entertained by a movie? When was the last time you had fun with a movie? Well, folks...this is that movie. 'The American Astronaut' is as fun and entertaining than anything you've ever seen. It's a comedy. It's a musical. It's Science Fiction with a touch of Western. It's a must-see film. A space cowboy is out on a groovy mission to deliver some rare items. One of  them is a real live girl in a box. The other is a boy who has actually seen a woman's breast. In this universe, the men grow up without the pleasures of a woman's company. The ladies are all on Venus and spend all their time pleasuring one lucky man. O lucky man, indeed. There's singing and dancing along with a crazy villain who can't keep his hands off his disintegrating ray-gun. 'The American Astronaut' is what your eyeballs and pink puffy brain needs. 

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Yes, you too can grow a Girlfriend in just a few weeks! Call now.

Way before our stem-cell research got underway. Mad scientists have been doing their thang. You know, working long hard hours, with no rewards. The crazy smart ones would say, "Hey! Why not put my mad doctor skilz to work. The babes at the bar ignore me. Some even mock me. I don't need any of them. I can create my own gal in a tube!" It never worked out. Sure the sex was good but after awhile the babe would do something odd. May be even kill a few people and that's not too cool. In Embryo, Rock Hudson plays a scientist who tries his hand at it. First with a litter of puppies and then with a female embryo. What could possibly go wrong!? What has science done!?

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

The Death Bed is an incredibly strange movie.

The Death Bed is the kind of movie that you can't describe. It's one part, Exploitation, one part Sexploitation, and one part absolute Fantasy-Horror. It's about a bed that comes to life after the tears of a demon saturate it. It looks like a mash-up of several themes  that all tie up to the monster bed. A ghost victim is cursed and is our narrator for this film venture. People come and go, but end up in the belly of the bed. A one of a kind film that has to be seen to be believed.